And God Created Audience

Patty presented this to the talented company of A.D. Players in Houston today. Hope you enjoy it. Ken

Becoming Audience by Ken Bailey

In the Beginning God created The Great Set. And cast it with beautiful living things. Then God took a seat third row center and said "It is Good". But He looked around and felt something was missing.

and then.. God created audience - a Man and a Woman - to see His Work and to applaud the Creator.

GOD raised the audience and the curtain and said,
I give you the birds of the air! (flying in stage left) And the creatures of the sea! (from stage right) and animals and flowers of every kind.

and because the audience missed the spectacle of Creation - He gave them a glimpse of it every morning at sunrise and every evening at sunset
- -
In the beginning was the Word and the Word, "the Script" was with God and the Script was God. And the Script became flesh and appeared on our stage.

Near the end of the Act 1 the Script said I am going away, but when you are "off book" I will send a Stage Manager and you can call for "line" any time you need.
- -
The Script, Jesus, also said, love the Producer totally, with your mind, and your Spirit and your heart… and love the audience. Don’t unwrap candy in the middle of the scene and turn off your cell phones so you and those around you with ears can hear.
- -
There was a time when the audience stop coming and only one man made every show. God told the audience of one to build a theater and the non-theater-going-public laughed at him. "Why are you building a theater when there is no one to attend". But God said I want a theater for my audience and my show. So God called on his small, faithful audience to bring in props and animals for God’s show. And he and his family brought in two of every animal (one for the show and an understudy) And after a flood of bad press, the theater opened and God put on his show, a revival. "I give you the birds of the air" and for the finale that day the little audience watch God place a rainbow upstage across the expanse of blue sky and God said, This will be a sign unto you of my covenant with the audience, that I will never close the show again by a flood".
n -
Shakespeare would have us believe we are "merely Players" but
God made us to be audience in His Theater. With two legs for standing ovations, opposable thumbs to open and read the program, two hands to clap, and eyes and ears to enjoy His show. And a single mouth to tell the single story of His Epic tale and to encourage others to come and see the show. The tickets have been comped by His Son.

Now we can be about His work acting, and directing and selling tickets and raising money, but we are never more in our place than
when we sit back or move up to the edge of our seats, when we turn off the cell phones or anything that makes noise, when the light fades on us and illuminates God’s amazing production. When we become audience.

A Film Short

Succession
by
Ken Bailey
October 16, 2008


An upscale sitting room. Woman #1 is seated on two-person sofa near Center Stage. To her right in a straightback chair sits Woman #2. Behind the sofa standing is Man #2. Seated to Woman #1’s left in a comfortable highback cloth chair is Man #1.

At rise Man #2 crosses upstage to a sideboard with a carafe of coffee and a few undisturbed small pastries. Man #2 pours coffee as Woman #3 enters Up Right. Woman #3 surveys room and crosses to sidebar where she takes an empty cup and places it on a saucer and Man #2 pours her a cup.

Suddenly a phone ring shatters the silence and Woman #3 drops her cup and saucer and it shatters on the parquet floor. Man #1 does not move. Woman #2 rises and crosses behind sofa to phone on table between Woman #1 and Man #1.

Woman #2
Yes?


Woman #2 hands receiver to Woman #1 as couple (mostly Woman #3) upstage deal quietly with mess on floor.

Woman #1
Yes?

Woman #1 listens without reaction except a brief moment when her eyelids open a bit wider.

Woman #1 (cont.)
Thank you for letting me know.

Woman #1 does not hang up but hands phone to Woman #2. Woman #2 listens and hears only a dial tone (we do not hear dialtone) and then hangs up receiver. Woman #2 crosses back to her straightback chair and sits. Everyone covertly studies Woman #1.

Silence.

Woman #1
(to Man #1)
Will I have to say something?

Man #1
When you’re ready.


Woman #1
Will you write something or some notes. I-

Man #1
I’ll take care of it.

Woman #3 has finished cleaning up her broken cup and saucer and the spilled coffee. Woman #3 moves down behind Woman #1 who somehow knows she is talking to her.

Woman #3
I know you are probably not hungry, but while I put these things away-

Woman #1
Oddly, I am. Maybe it’s my stomach.

Woman #3
What would you like?

Woman #1
Buttermilk

Woman #3
Buttermilk?

Woman #1
A cold glass if there is any.

Woman #3 starts to exit

Woman #1
And two of those finger sandwiches left from
the Ortega brunch. But not the tuna.

Woman #3 exits

Silence

Woman #1
Did he do something wrong that I’m not aware of?

Man #2
If he did, we weren’t aware of it either.

Man #1
He did Nothing Wrong.

Woman #1
Except this. This was wrong.

Woman #2 gets up to move to Woman #1

Woman #1
If you are planning to hug me, think again.

Woman #2 stops and then re-sits.

Woman #1
For the last seven years I have hugged, been hugged, kissed and been kissed by people my father would have crossed the street to avoid. (pause) In a few days it will all start again. Until then no hugs, no kisses - (smiles) I’ve known him for 32 years. He’s gone hunting with me, my father, my brothers, industrialists and heads of state and this is the first time (slightly serious) I’ve known him to get a kill on the first shot. (smiles) He would find that funny.

Silence

Phone rings. Woman #2 rises but Man #1 answers.

Man #1
Yes? A moment.

Man #1 holds receiver down.

Man #1 (to Woman #1)
It’s the Vice President.

Woman #1 rises to move to phone.

Woman #1
You mean President.

Woman #1 takes phone.

Woman #1 (cont.)
Hello Charlie.

FADE OUT

At This Moment

At this moment:

i am
the sum of my experiences
the product of my DNA

the perfect creation of a perfect Creator
the flawed, doomed outcast of the lineage of Adam
the keeper of the knowledge of Good and Evil
the resident vessel of the breath of God

the eternal promise of my savior Jesus Christ

and a little sleepy.

Beginning a Memoir

Growing Up in the Dark
By
Ken Bailey

Introduction

He wasn’t my real father. But in a time when second marriages were less frequent and even less discussed, everyone assumed he was. He would adopt me and give me the Bailey name after a fourteen year trial period. But even though the name was slow coming, Marvin Bailey instantly introduced a four year old me to a world I would have never experienced if my Mother had gone with my choice, Bob DeJohn.

Bob was a friendly fellow who brought us a television over a single weekend. He was a salesman at Sears Roebuck and somehow swung this miracle in a day when televisions were as new and foreign to my world as champagne or a club sandwich. As a three and one half year old, I had never seen or even heard of television. With a bright Houston sun shining outside, I spent that entire weekend inside in front of a magic box that would someday consume the majority of my working life.

These two men who, as far as I know never met, introduced me, within a six month period, to the two worlds that would launch my imagination and experiences for a lifetime. Film and Television.

Now, lest you think I hadn’t been around before the age of four let me set you straight. I had seen two movies, The Stratton Story and my favorite (of the two) Singing in the Rain. But television was different. On a table in my Grandmother’s bedroom/living room I watched my first TV show, The Lone Ranger. Now think of this, right there in our house, not having to dress up in a little suit that made me look like a very short Clark Kent without glasses, not going downtown, not standing in line and not waiting through boring newsreels and coming attractions and a great cartoon to see the movie movie. Right there, right then, on a table in my Grandmother’s living room/bedroom The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode Silver and Scout across the table from one edge of my Mother’s white starched table linen to the other. All this in glorious black and white on a screen about the size of a volleyball. To this day while the story (most Lone Ranger stories were the same) eludes me the feeling of the miraculous is still with me.

I feel a little sorry for now seven year old Emily and four year old Allie Grace to have never experienced life outside a digital world. But I’m sure they will experience their own miracles and that makes me smile as much as did the field of gray, waving General Mills grain at the opening of that Lone Ranger.

My first meeting with Marvin Bailey was not as pleasant. He offered me a stick of gum. Bob DeJohn had brought the miraculous into our home. Marvin Bailey brought Spearmint. It wasn’t even Juicy Fruit. At that moment I committed an act of defiance that, as I know of, was something very unusual and something my Mother would never have allowed. I threw the gum wrapper on the carpet of our entry hall. The first words I remember Marvin Bailey saying to me, although he probably said something when he offered me the gum was, "Pick that up!" I ran off as fast as I could.

Thinking back on it, he must have cared for my Mother a great deal to strike a bargain that would include a four year old, ungrateful litterbug. But the secret to my agreeing to the union, like I had a vote, was once again, television.
My Mother and Marvin took me to a small, pleasant brick house not far from downtown Houston. This location was to be my home until college. In this house I would change from fat to thin, awkward to athlete, and from go carts to girls.

The agent of change was in a large mahogany cabinet in Marvin Bailey’s living room. There, behind a burled wood door lived 21 inches of diagonal magic. Its name was Zenith. And I was suddenly okay with the entire arrangement.

CHAPTER 1

I seldom lied or "told stories" as my Mother preferred to call it. I knew God frowned on lying. But by high school I had learned how to "create impressions" that while not direct lies often led to a misunderstanding of the facts that was intended to benefit me. Later on I was to learn to call this by another name, marketing.

Mrs. Strusand was an English teacher with a second responsibility. She was in charge of the school newspaper. I never heard her referred to as the Editor, but that was actually her role.

In my junior year I had made one of many mistakes. This one was taking a study hall. I had completed my electives and the idea of doing my homework during school seemed like a good idea. There was one problem. I didn’t do homework. I did marketing. So there I was stuck on a beautiful spring afternoon looking out the window daydreaming as I often did. The study hall teacher was constantly trying to bring me back to geometry or at least reality. No one in the sixties that I knew of could spell A.D.D. much lest knew what it was. Then I was just easily bored.

My friend Tommy, came to the rescue. He wrote for the school newspaper and told me there was an opening for a photographer. What a great opportunity to get out of study hall and my name in the newspaper.
I went to see Mrs. Streusand. I told her the truth that my father was a professional (actually regionally famous-but kids never know that) photographer and then I "creatively impressed" upon her that as the son of a professional photographer wouldn’t it make sense that I too was a gifted photographer. This juxtaposition of fact and question was a technique I learned from Perry Mason. Who says television is not educational.
Either out of desperation or marketing she bought it. I was suddenly a staff member. This was great, I thought. I would go to my fathers’ studio and get one of the great guys that work there to give me a few pointers and.. While I was thinking this Mrs. Strusand was talking. The first word that got to my gray matter was, "tonight". "Tonight!" what was tonight. As my mind surfaced I heard "get a few shots of the band and we will run them Friday." "Shots, Band, Friday!" "What Band?" "What Friday?" Not day after tomorrow Friday.
I was still trying to sort out Mrs. Strusand’s assignment from my imagination. when I arrived at Bob Bailey Studios. I worked there most days delivering photographs to big oil companies downtown or ad agencies in the suburbs. I had learned how to get around Houston, but I had not learned how to take pictures. I had shot pictures like everyone with a Brownie. But at those few times the subjects were either too far away or headless. I was pretty sure Mrs. Strusand would not be pleased with a tiny headless band in our school auditorium.
Bob Bailey Studios in 1964 was a very busy place. There my father and multiple photographers, darkroom personnel, secretaries and finishers worked to create images for Houston top companies. In other parts of the building on Allen Parkway near downtown Houston, my uncle Bob Bailey and his crews produced corporate and sports films.
I caught a break that afternoon. One of the younger photographers was between afternoon assignments. I confessed to him what I had done. He took pity on me. It could have been because I was the boss’s son, but he and most everyone I remember from the studio were kind, gentle people who loved their craft and sharing with young, eager and sometimes desperate novices. The young photographer loaned me one of the studios twin-lens reflex cameras. He loaded it with film. Attached a strobe light. Taped down a couple of switches so I wouldn’t accidentally change a setting and return with no picture at all. He then told me to bracket the "F" spot. (This means to shoot at various aperture openings allowing more or less light to strike the negative) And then he sent me on my way.
When I arrived back at school I looked, at least in my mind, like an official photographer. I carried a professional looking camera, strobe light and adopted heritage.
Backstage I was greeted by, not a band but, a young guy in an overly large business suit. He was the band and my first subject. He played the drums. He struck a fun pose with his foot up on his stool and his hand on his chin. Not the first time such a picture had been made. What was unique was this was my first real photographic shoot and there was something else different.
In 1964 the Beatles were enjoying world wide success. This was not one of the Beatles. Not even close. But by that year John, Paul, George and Ringo were starting to grow their hair long and it was catching on with other performers. This drummer was the first male I had ever seen in person with long hair. I mean hair that hung down passed his hand on his chin. The drummer struck his pose and I nervously began cocking the shutter and firing. I thought, hopefully to myself, Did the strobe go off? Is the lens cap on? A really good question for a twin lens camera like I was shooting because it had one lens on top that you looked through to focus and another lens directly below that was actually the lens that exposed the film. One could actually look through an uncapped lens and shoot a lens-capped non-image.
I did remember to bracket my exposures. I couldn’t wait (and neither could Mrs. Strusand) for me to get to the studio and develop the negatives.
From the time I was a little kid I spent hours in the darkroom. Watching the magic of drowning images appear on sheets of plain white paper. The memory of the smells of the chemicals, the mood lighting and the vision of those emerging pictures makes me smile to this day.
I loved it the day someone put a sign on one of our darkroom doors that said, "Don’t open the door you’ll let the dark out." I have thought about that often in my faith walk. And I take joy in the fact the dark never overcomes the light.
Most people have seen the green or red lit images of a darkroom but when we were developing negative film we did it in complete darkness. Complete darkness is a quiet, long time of anticipation and concern. It is, especially, if this is your first assignment and if the results is the only thing that stands between you, study hall and Mrs. Strusand.
I shot twelve exposures on a roll of film just over two inches wide. In the dark I rolled the film on to silver spools designed to keep the surface of the film from touching the rest of the film as it was spooled. The spool was then dunked into a stainless steel tank containing developing solution. With its top on the tank sat on countertop in the dark and the old sweeping-hand styled timer was started. The timer was coated with a grit created by chemicals in the room and the moving hands were coated with a phosphorescent paint that emitted the only sense of light in the room. Each complete rotation of the hands took one minute. With each rotation I would agitate the developer in tank like a bartender shaking a James Bond martini.
After eight minutes the irritating noise of the timer’s buzzer pierced the silence. Then the developing reel was wetly fished out and placed in a fixing solution called "hypo". About a minute or two in the hypo and the moment of truth arrived. I switched the light on and as uncoiled the wet film from the spool. As it unrolled I held it up to the naked light bulb to see if I could see an image. Any image.
I had shot all twelve frames. I had bracketed. But all I saw was dark clear film. Maybe a dot of image here or there. But then near the center of the reel, I could see one image. Out of twelve tries I had gotten one. In baseball I would have been batting .066. But this wasn’t baseball, this was magic. I hung the three and one half feet of film in our drying room and clipped a metal weight to the bottom to make sure it didn’t curl. As soon as it was dry, I took my one image to the printing darkroom.
Earl Foster was a wizard with black and white printing. Earl was as kind a person as I ever met at the studio. As a black man in the fifties in the south, I am sure his life was filled with the same challenges as every of person of color faced in those embarrassing and wrong-thinking times. But to me he was a friend and a wizard. I took Earl by one surviving image and he showed me how to print. Earl would push timers, wave dodging wands and his large hand over the easel that held the blank photo paper. These odd gestures painted the paper with light. When Earl "souped" the first print it faded up at the same rate my chest expanded. I thought it looked great. Earl pulled it from the developer and through it in the trash. My chest return to normal if not a little sunken. "Too light" the wizard said. The next attempt looked even better. By the time it swirled in the current of the wash and took the rollercoaster ride around the heated aluminum dryer I thought, "Skip Johnson eat your heart out." I would have said "Ansel Adams eat your heart out," but at the time I did not know who he was. But Skip Johnson had been the school photographer before me and at this point in my development Skip was good enough competition.
Friday morning I rushed my photo to Mrs. Strusand's classroom/newspaper office. She was very impressed. I was officially the new school newspaper photographer. Mrs. Strusand asked me, how the others pictures looked, and I told her that we had looked at the choices and determined this one was the best. For the remainder of that year and my senior year I learned all I could about making pictures and motion pictures.
Two years after high school Skip Johnson died on a ship off the coast of Viet Nam.
TO BE CONTINUED

A Movie Trailer for "7 Thunders" - Left Handed Justice

This is for a trailer for my comtemporary / alternative history feature film based on the impact of a 1970 Supreme Court decision and a hero based on the story of Ehud in Judges. The protagonist, Preacher Boy, is called on to deliver his people from a godless tyrant.

7Thunders
a Ken Bailey Film
(A Movie Trailer)

SUPER: "And I will pour my fury upon Sin" Ezekiel 30:15

SFX - First of Seven Thunders

FADE IN:

NARRATOR (V.O.)
He turned the other cheek

CU in dark of fist hitting Preacher Boy's face

NARRATOR (V.O.)
And then-

Quick cuts of flashes of fists, a work boot to a stomach, and a bat cracks against his broad back.
NARRATOR 2 (V.O.)
(Rev 10:3)
He cried with a loud voice, as when a lion roareth: and when he had cried, seven thunders uttered their voices.

NIGHT BACKLIT SHOT OF RAIN IN CEMETARY

Preacher Boy struggles to his feet

NARRATOR (V.O.)
He carries guilt, rage and a Bible

-PB stands in the rain, cut to rain on Bible

NARRATOR 2
Seal up those things which the seven thunders uttered, and write them not.


NARRATOR (V.O.)
They call him Preacher Boy and

-PB walks in driving rain, lightning, thunder intercut with action scenes

NARRATOR (V.O.)
He calls for justice

Last action flash

7Thunders
Coming Fall 2010

Monkeys & Music

Of Monkeys and Music by Ken Bailey © KenBailey 2009

In 1927 on the sunnyside of 2nd Avenue and 49th Street Luigi the organ grinder cranked out tunes for the passersby while Ravioli, Luigi’s pet monkey would offer his turned-up bellboy cap in a plea for money. As one well-dressed socialite walked up to the hat-in-hand monkey, the socialite dropped in a shiny nickel. The monkey screeched at the woman as if she had short-changed the stinky little mammal. Luigi smiled, tipped his own hat to the lady and then jerked on the monkey’s leash so hard the monkey slammed into Luigi’s worn suit pants. "I apologize for my monkey lady. Sometimes he thinks he makes the music."

Sometimes those of us called by God to pass the hat and share the Word forget who it is that makes the Music. Acting on a call of God, when doing it right, is hard, often thankless, work. To equate that important calling to a monkey on an organ grinder’s leash may be a harsh comparison. In fact, many people and every member of PETA would today find the entire idea of an innocent animal being trained, worked hard on the streets of New York and occasionally yanked by the organ grinder completely unacceptable. But I stand by the harsh analogy.

Most of us securely tethered to our Lord and Savior by His chain of Grace would never want to be separated from that umbilical. And if our loving Father pulls on it before we step into traffic, we dumb monkeys will just have to learn to trust the Organ Grinder. It is through His power that the music is made.

If you can see yourself as that monkey, please remember as you put on your costume of faith and pass the hat that you are not the Source. And that when you get too contentious or full of yourself for the passersby that the Organ Grinder has others waiting to take your place.

The Last Bigot

This is a piece I started two months ago and then put down for a season. James Parkinson was a Pastor early in his life and is now dealing with old age and a feisty caregiver. At this point it may feel a bit like "Driving Mr. Daisy" but trust me it is about to take a distinctive turn.

The Last Bigot
By
Ken Bailey
© KenBailey 2009


SETTING: Back bedroom of James Parkinson. The once normally appointed bedroom now contains a hospital bed, a walker, two comfortable chairs, a rolling stand that can JP can use to eat from or write. In the corner is a tank of oxygen.

Time: Present

At Rise: JAMES PARKINSON is in hospital bed in his back bedroom. JP throws the sheets back and struggles to get himself to his walker positioned at bedside. After a few steps he looses his balance. He and the walker both fall to ground. He is wearing an Emergency Call button around his neck but does not reach for it. Instead he angrily struggles to right the walker and then pull himself up. It is now apparent he has wet himself. He struggles to get back in his bed. Just as he lays his head back he hears outside door open. He grabs a water pitcher on a bedside table and drenches his already wet pj bottoms. CARLA KING enters room.

JP: Well just in time. See what you made me do? You put the water too far away. I was so dehydrated, ten more minutes and you wouldn’t have to cremate me you could just take a whisk broom and sweep me into an urn.

CK: Ahh. Cremating you was one of the few things I had left to look forward to.

JP: What am I talking about the only broom you know anything about is the one you ride to work. I hope you didn’t park it by my azaleas.

CK: I put some new pullups in there. C’mon I’ll help you in there and then you are on your own.

(CK helps JP out of bed and behind walker. She steadies him from behind as he enters bathroom.)

JP: Close the door and don’t peak.

CK: I’ll try to resist.

(CK changes sheets, puts on clean mattress pad, makes up bed and mops up wet spot on floor where JP fell with walker.)

JP (from bathroom) What’s today?

CK: Friday

JP What?

CK: THURSDAY

JP: What?

CK: MY BIRTHDAY

JP: I can’t hear you.

CK: You’re kidding

JP: What?

CK: I said you are a mean old, bedwetting, bigot who should-

(JP emerges from bathroom)

JP: Don’t you ever shut up.

CK: Wait. I haven’t wax the floor there yet.

(CK crosses to JP)

JP: You know if I moved into a motel I would have some hour-glass shaped Chiquita doing what you do for free. And for a couple of pesos she would-

CK: Eskimos

JP: What?

CK: The three months I have been here I don’t remember you insulting an Eskimo.

(Helps JP back in bed)

JP: What’s to insult? They just sit up there killing baby seals, polar bears and six-packs while the wait for the next Valdez to come sailing along. You know I heard that captain had a red nose when all that oil started spurting out of that ship and every body thought it was from drinking. But I heard he had been up Eskimo kissing all night long. Now I’m not saying the drugged him but-

CK: BINGO!

JP: What?

CK: Now you’ve insulted everyone. What do you want for breakfast? As if I didn’t know.

JP: Eskimo pie

CK: What

JP: Eskimo pies are something good about Eskimos.

CK: You want an Eskimo Pie for breakfast?

JP: Of course not. I want two eggs,

CK and JP: flipped over with the yolk not runny and not hard, just right. Rye toast with Real Butter –

JP: None of that “I Can’t Believe It’s This Dope Smoking Hippie Crap” stuff. And bacon-

CK and JP: Three slices crisp but not burnt.

CK: When did I ever serve you burnt bacon?

JP: Never. Cause I always remind you not to.

CK: Do you wanna watch some TV while I fix breakfast?

JP: What’s on?

CK: You have 300 channels of cable

JP: But it’s all crap.

CK: Then you want me to leave it off?

JP: No, you’ve got me used to noise. Just turn on some noise. Is there a Western on?

(CK turns on TV.)

CK: I don’t know!

JP: My motel Chiquita would know. But we wouldn’t want the TV on. You know why?

CK: Cause she wouldn’t want to create attention while she ties you up and robs you blind?

(CK exits as TV show comes on. TV show is that day’s CNN or Fox News(recorded each day and played back at performance – permission is necessary) a commercial comes on (same at every performance and at an appointed time JP starts changing channels) At each quick change JP utters “crap” or “more crap” until he finally finds a Western and then cable goes out. One last “Crap!” JP picks up phone and dials. Waits and then speaks as if to voice mail)

JP: In case there is anyone there who understands English just wanted to report MY DAMN CABLE’S GONE OUT AGAIN!! And before anybody calls to lie to me and say “We come by and nobody home” I am ALWAYS AT HOME! I can’t Leave. If I could leave I would go to a country where they new how to keep cable on and Spoke English!
(CK enters)

CK- here we go two eggs scrambled and burnt bacon. Couldn’t find a channel with Eskimos?

JP- Cable’s out.

CK: I’ll call them while you eat.

(JP looks down at breakfast)

CK: You praying or looking for shells

JP: Neither although with your cooking I probably should pray.

CK: I got the cable number in the kitchen.

JP: I already called them. I had Joey put’m on speeddail. (takes bite of eggs) I used to pray alot.

CK: But women got the vote anyway.

JP: No

CK: Blacks got to play baseball-
JP: I need more butter. I wish this remote work on you.

(CK exits. JP takes a bite of toast)

JP: (yells to kitchen) This is rye bread. I said wheat! Rye bread is for sandwiches- with german mustard not for toast at breakfast! What’s wrong with you?

(CK enters)

CK: Cable is out for blocks. They said it should be fixed by 3.

JP: A black guy tell you that?

CK: Yes, but on the phone he was pretending to be an Indian woman. They’re sneaky like that. Every since one of them got elected President it’s like every black guy is Ashton Kutchar and we’re all getting punk’d.

JP: A man named Ashton? Bet I know what team he plays for?

CK: You done with breakfast?

JP: No, I still have to finish this rye bread when I asked for wheat.

CK: You asked for or demanded rye.

JP: What do you take me for? Rye bread is for sandwiches with corn beef or salamie not breakfast. I would never asked for-

CK: Oh, really?

(CK pulls out a small digital recorder, rewinds and pauses)

CK: Let’s go to the tape in the booth, shall we?

(CK hits play and JP is heard requesting Rye)

RP: That is against my rights-

CK: To be a jackass.

The Talk

As you can probably tell by now I like to think a lot about "what if". This "what if" will probably not preach but I think it is fun to think about Joseph and Mary sitting Jesus down for "The Talk"

THE TALK
by Ken Bailey
© KenBailey 2009


Mary and Joseph are in room, a 12 year old Jesus enters

JOSEPH - Jesus come and sit. Your Mother has something to tell you.

MARY - I think, well, can I get you anything? Goat milk? A sweet cake?

JOSEPH - We have sweet cake?

MARY - Would you like some?

JOSEPH - Let’s do this first.

MARY - Jesus… are sure you don’t want-

JOSEPH - Mary?

MARY (blurts) - Joseph is not your real father. You-

JESUS - I know.

JOSEPH - It’s not what you think- What do you mean you know?

JESUS - I mean, I know.

JOSEPH - He knows?

MARY - Who told you, Mrs. Gotlieb?

JESUS - I know. I knew.

JOSEPH - Of course, He knows. Think about it? He knows.

MARY - I’m very proud of you.

JESUS - You two have been wonderful to me. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for you both.

MARY - I’ll get the sweet cake.

JOSEPH - Are you packed for Jerusalem?

JESUS - Yes Father.

JOSEPH - You honor me. (pause) Jesus?

JESUS - Yes?

JOSEPH - When we get to Jerusalem you stay close. No wandering off. How would I explain to- (points up) -you know.

FADE OUT

The Meanwell Sisters

Another Christmas offering "The Meanwell Sisters" is a variation on a scene from "Manger in the Mall". Please give me your comments and suggestions. Thanks Ken

The Meanwell Sisters
by
Ken Bailey
© KenBailey 2009

FADE IN:
INT. MALL -- EVENING
PATTY MEANWELL enters a clearing in the mall. PATTY struggles to carry a makeshift manger, a hat rack, some costumes and a cardboard backdrop. PATTY opens background. PATTY lays costumes over manger. Sets up hatrack. Moves costumes to hatrack as CYNDI MEANWELL approaches.

PATTY
Oh good.

CYNDI
Can you believe it? Not even 9am and ol' Tubby overthere has them lined up all the way to Yo-Yo-Yogurt.

Cyndi gently places a beat up baby doll in manger.

PATTY
Wait, where's little Harry? He's suppose to-
(be baby Jesus)

CYNDI
Margo wasn't comfortable with me taking Harry for-

PATTY picks up damaged doll and examines it.

CYNDI (CONT'D)
But she let me have one of Susan's dolls.

PATTY
This is suppose to be Baby Jesus

CYNDI
He's just as real as old Fat Boy and his flying zoo over there.
(to elf offscreen)
Oh, sure. You're an elf. A six foot elf.
(to Patty)
When I think of all the Little People out of work and they hire some-

PATTY
There's high unemployment amongst Little People, I didn't know that.

CYNDI
There's high unemployment, do you think they are immuned?

CYNDI CROSSES to PATTY and gently takes the doll from PATTY and replaces it in the manger.

CYNDI (CONT'D)
There.

PATTY
Where's the camera?

CYNDI
I thought you.. Wait.

CYNDI searches through her purse and pulls out disposable camera and smiles.

CYNDI (CONT'D)
We're ready.

CYNDI turns to people walking by. PATTY hangs banner on background that says "Picture Yourself with Jesus"

CYNDI (CONT'D)
Picture Yourself with Jesus!

PATTY
Celebrate Christmas with the Christ of Christmas!
Young lady approaches

CYNDI
How about a holiday keepsake? Your picture with Baby Jesus?

WOMAN
Get lost!

CYNDI
Speaking of lost.

PATTY
Cyndi

CYNDI
Well-

Elvin walks up to women.

ELVIN
What are you ladies doing?

PATTY
Would you like to have your picture made with Baby Jesus?

ELVIN
I would-

PATTY
Wonderful

PATTY heads for costume.

ELVIN
I would but I wouldn't have anyone to give it to.

CYNDI pounces

CYNDI
Really? I'm Cyndi Meanwell.

Cyndi puts out her hand

ELVIN
Elvin Thornberry.

PATTY dresses ELVIN as he talks with CYNDI

CYNDI
Thornberry? Thornberry
(TO PATTY)
Didn't we live by some Thornberries on Pixie Avenue?

PATTY
They were Brimberries.

CYNDI
No, I think it was Thornberry.

ELVIN
Don't believe there have been any Thornberry's here before me. I grew up in-
By now ELVIN has full costume on and CYNDI crosses to PATTY.

CYNDI
No, I think they were Thornber-

COUPLE walks up

MAN
What are you people doing?

PATTY
We're are taking people's picture with Baby Jesus. We can take you two right after Mr. Brimberry here.

ELVIN
Thornberry.

MAN
You can't do this!

WOMAN
You can't be pushing your religion in our face!

MAN
We are here to do our Christmas shopping not join your cult!

Woman takes out Blackberry and types

WOMAN
You're gonna be sorry.
(to Elvin)
What's your name?

ELVIN
Elvin Thornberry but I-

WOMAN
Oh look, Gerald, Santa Claus.

MAN
(to Elvin)
You should be ashamed of yourself

Couple exit

CYNDI
(to Elvin)
Oh, you were wonderful.

Elvin starts to take off costume

PATTY
Wait. You haven't had your picture made yet.

ELVIN
Oh, I don't know. I tell you what I will if you ladies are in the photo with me.

PATTY
One of us has to take the picture.

CYNDI has donned a costume and now grabs ELVIN's arm.

CYNDI
Patty will take it.

PATTY positions to take photo as CYNDI strikes pose

CYNDI (CONT'D)
Say, JESUS!

ELVIN
(a bit overwhelmed)
Jesus.

PATTY's camera flashes.

CYNDI
Oh, I think I closed my eyes. Take another one PATTY
CYNDI draws ELVIN even closer.

PATTY shoots.

ELVIN
Now what?

SISTERS look at each other

CYNDI
I don't know.

PATTY
You're our first customer. We thought we would shoot a roll and then take it over to SUPER-LIGHTING-FAST-PHOTO over by the overpriced lingerie shop.

ELVIN
I could take it over.

ELVIN grabs the camera and exits. Young girl is watching from sideline.

GIRL
What is this?

CYNDI
It's the manger where Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus-

GIRL
That's not Baby Jesus. It's a Glee and Pee doll and it's messed up. And this cardboard stable..

CYNDI
Well, you sort of have to-

PATTY
She's right. It's a doll with no hair. We were going to get Cyndi's grandbaby but-

CYNDI exits toward ELVIN

CYNDI
I'll be right back.

PATTY
Your parents Christmas shopping?

GIRL
I guess they could be. Somewhere.

PATTY
What do you want for Christmas?

GIRL
You know this is the lamest thing in the mall, right? And this is really a lame mall.

Girl starts trying on a costume.

PATTY
(under her breath) Well, He healed the lame.

GIRL
What?

PATTY
To tell you the truth when Cyndi called me with this idea- she was all upset about Santa over there getting all the attention and she just wanted Jesus to get more.. focus. You haven't been eating candy or anything have you. We borrowed those costumes from the church.

GIRL
You think they really dressed like this?

PATTY
Beats me. Looks like the Christmas cards I get.

GIRL
I don't get Christmas cards. What's this?

PATTY
That goes over your head like this. Bethlehem chic. Some Hebrew hunk would really go for you. People don't send Christmas cards like they used to.

CYNDI returns with real baby.

PATTY (CONT'D)
Is that Harry?

CYNDI
No, I saw this guy with a stroller and-

GIRL
A baby!

PATTY
You kidnapped a baby!

CYNDI
No, it turned out to be my neighbor's boy Ralph. This is Ralph, Jr. I have babysat with him before. So, I told Ralph I would watch Jr. while he shopped for his wife who is shopping for him. We're gonna get some action now.

GIRL
Can I hold him?

CYNDI
Do you know how?

GIRL
Sure. I had a little sister.

CYNDI hands baby to GIRL. GIRL holds baby in front of background. ELVIN returns with camera.

ELVIN
SUPER-LIGHTING-FAST-PHOTO couldn't process the film until tomorrow so I thought you might want to take a few more-

ELVIN sees girl with baby in makeshift stable. ELVIN raises camera.

ELVIN (CONT'D)
Say JESUS

GIRL raises head as a lone tear rollercoasters over her cheek and falls gently on the baby

GIRL
Jesus

ELVIN takes picture. RALPH and KAREN rush up

RALPH
See Karen, I told you it was alright. Karen wanted to get a picture of Ralphey with Santa.

KAREN grabs RALPHEY from girl in robe and recognizes her.

KAREN
Petra?

RALPH
(to CYNDI)
What is this?

CYNDI
(defeated)
It's a cardboard-

RALPH
Look Karen, it's the stable and the manger. This is great! Could we get our picture made here?

PATTY and CYNDI move into action. CYNDI disrobes ELVIN (much to the delight of both) and CYNDI puts ELVIN's robe on RALPH. PATTY crosses to PETRA who has taken off robe and puts it on KAREN.

KAREN
Your folks are worried sick. You have to call them. RALPH get my phone out of the diaper bag.

PETRA
I'm not calling them.

KAREN
You have to, It's Christmas.

PETRA
Is that a rule or something?

KAREN
They are both sorry.

PETRA
How do you know?

KAREN
They told everyone.

PETRA
(not believing)
Everyone?

KAREN
In front of the whole church.
(pause)
And they want more than anything to tell you.

RALPH
Come on Karen, they're ready. Let's get everyone in.

The group gathers as PATTY moves down to take picture. Santa Claus is walking by.

SANTA
Want me to do that? I'm on a break.

PATTY hands Santa the camera and joins others.

SANTA (CONT'D)
Everybody say.. Jesus!

GROUP
JESUS!

FADE OUT

The Future Knows My Name

THE FUTURE KNOWS MY NAME
BY KEN BAILEY
© KenBailey 2009

FADE IN:
EXT. MELCHOIR'S OBSERVATORY - NIGHT
MELCHOIR - A respected Babylonian astrologer/astronomer is gazing heavenward from his rooftop observatory. GASPAR enters.

MELCHOIR
Gaspar, I thought you would be home with your little ones by now.

GASPAR
You saw it too, didn't you?

MELCHOIR nods yes and moves to the North side of the roof, GASPAR follows.

GASPAR (CONT'D)
I knew it! I saw it last night but thought my eyes were surely beguiling me. Did you see it last night?

MELCHOIR
Three nights ago.

GASPAR
By the stars! I knew it was not my destiny to discover a new one. You know what this means.. you get to name it. Unless of course one of the others saw it before you did.

MELCHOIR
This is not my star.

GASPAR
Someone else has-

MELCHOIR
Not that I know of but.. Gaspar - I don't believe this is some clump of fire hurled into the heavens for no reason.

MELCHOR crosses to table with charts and writings. He picks up one.

MELCHOIR (CONT'D)
Here, see for yourself. I believe this star is a torch. A messenger of light. A guide that leads to-

BALTHESAR enters.

BALTHESAR (full of himself)
Congratulate me peasants. I have discovered a new star. I will call it Balthesar's Brightest Pleasure.

GASPAR
And when did you make this remarkable discovery, oh Great One.

BALTHESAR
Why, only just now. You are the first to be envious.

GASPAR hands BALTHESAR one of Melchoir's charts.

GASPAR
We may be the first to be envious but you are the second to discover Melchoir's already discovered star.

Balthesar studies chart as Gaspar looks over his shoulder then takes chart away from BALTHESAR

GASPAR (CONT'D)
Wait. A new king?

MELCHOIR scanning the heavens

MELCHOIR
He may be being born just as we speak.

BALTHESAR
We must go to him and pay the little King homage. I have enough gold set aside to pay for my part of the journey and have enough left over to give the new Royal a proper tribute.

GASPAR
Balthesar's right. We should try to find him and paying a future King tribute could serve us well in our reclining years.

BALTHESAR
Will you be joining us in our search, Melchoir?

MELCHOIR
I'm a seeker of Truth. How can a seeker not seek?

BALTHESAR reacts to Melchoir's statement.

GASPAR
You know, my wife has this frankincense she never uses, I believe she will be glad to let me have it when I tell her I need it for a long journey.

BALTHESAR
I'm sure she will.

MELCHOIR
It's late. It will be daylight soon.

BALTHESAR
We should get some rest and leave when the star reappears tonight.

BALTHESAR AND GASPAR EXIT. MELCHOIR picks up chart under other charts and to star

MELCHOIR
When you reappear you will be our guide. Our guide to the little one. You know I didn't share everything with my fellow magi. This Royal is to be no ordinary King. Until tonight.

FADE OUT

EXT. OASIS ALONG JOURNEY - NIGHT
BALTHESAR AND MELCHOIR are resting at oasis. GASPAR enters holding a piece of parchment.

GASPAR
There. It's finished. To preserve our journey for posterity I have written a verse.
Others do not react

GASPAR (CONT'D)
A song. "Oh please Gaspar, delight us with your insight and creativity!" Well, you know this is against my humble nature but..

Gaspar clears throat, blows on pitchpipe and sings

GASPAR (CONT'D)
We three kings of orient are, bearing gifts we travel-

BALTHESAR
Hold it. We are not Kings

GASPAR
They don't know that in Israel. Besides, we look like kings and to whom but a king would the heavens reveal its plans?

MELCHOIR
Gaspar, we are astrologers. Honest astrologers.

GASPAR
Very well -

GASPAR scratches on parchment and rewrites. Clears throat-

GASPAR (CONT'D)
"We three astrologers of orient are-

BALTHESAR
Hold your camels. The word, Orient, It's to vague. We are from Babylonia. Try that.

GASPAR Scratches - clears throat with a throaty growl

GASPAR
"We three astrologers of Babylonia are-

MELCHOIR
You know.. to be grammatically correct, one should say, "are from Babylonia" not "of Babylonia are"

GASPAR discards parchment

GASPAR
We three astrologers are from Babylonia And these are our camels.. we travel... upon-ee-a
FADE OUT

INT. INN IN JERUSALEM - NIGHT
INNKEEPER is working as Magi enter

GASPAR
Get three separate rooms. If I am serenaded to sleep again by the melodious tones of Balthesar's nostril trumpet, I'll-

BALTHESAR
How many times must I tell you - I do not snore!

INNKEEPER
(to MELCHOIR)
Did I hear three rooms?

MELCHOIR
Yes, thank you.

BALTHESAR
Here, gentle woman, let me explain-

MELCHOIR
You people are not very excitable are you?

BALTHESAR
We are magi, from the east..

INNKEEPER
When we have something to get about-

BALTHESAR
Magi?

BALTHESAR and GASPAR strike "Magi" pose.

MELCHOIR
A new King is not something to get excited about?

GASPAR
Men who study the stars

INNKEEPER
New King? We have no new king?

GASPAR
And chart the constellations

INNKEEPER
Herrod is our one and only King

BALTHESAR
-and can tell you of your tomorrows.

BALTHESAR AND GASPAR
MAGI?

INNKEEPER
That will be fifteen dinari - five for each room -
(to BALTHESAR AND GASPAR)
But I guess you knew that.

MELCHOIR
But you must have heard of the little king. We followed the star and it led us here to Jerusalem and then it disappeared.

INNKEEPER
A star led you here and then disappeared. Right

MELCHOIR nods as if it makes perfect sense.

GASPAR
Look, please direct me to my room. I'm so tired I-

INNKEEPER
Okay I'll show you or would you rather follow a star up?

Innkeeper and Gaspar exit

BALTHESAR
Where is he Melchoir? Did we read the signs wrong? Where is this King of the Jews, this promise of hope? Has this whole journey been for nothing?

MELCHOIR
I don't know where He is. But I still believe He's out there. Maybe just over that hill.

BALTHESAR
How do we follow a star that no longer exists?

MELCHOIR
We wait... and keep searching the night sky.
FADE OUT

EXT. SOMEWHERE BETWEEN JERUSALEM AND BETHLEHEM -- NIGHT

GASPAR
Why are we stopping? The star may go away again.

MELCHOIR
The camels need the rest. We will start again soon. I am just as anxious as you to see the king. Balthesar, you haven't said a word since we left Herod. Are you all right?

GASPAR
I don't trust Herod. He smiles to much.

MELCHOIR
I don't trust him either. I propose that after we find the little king we take another route home. Let him get his information elsewhere.

GASPAR
I agree. How about you Balthesar? Balthesar?

BALTHESAR
What? Oh, yes. I agree.

GASPAR
What has you so per-occupied? Are you homesick?

BALTHESAR
I miss home of course but.. during the days and nights in Jerusalem, without the star, without anything.. I began to read the Jewish prophets. I found a scroll in the table beside my bed.

GASPAR
So did I. Some absent-minded scribe must frequent that inn.

MELCHOIR
There was something in the writings?

BALTHESAR
It talked about..

GASPAR
There one true God. I know. I was reading their book of Psalms and-

BALTHESAR
No, I read about the one true God, but this morning I was reading the prophet Isaiah-

MELCHOIR
The prophet that foretells the coming of the Messiah.

BALTHESAR
But Isaiah also talks about the coming of-

GASPAR
WHO?

BALTHESAR
Us

GASPAR AND MELCHOIR
US!

BALTHESAR
It said of the promised Messiah, "The wealth of the nations will come to you. They will bring gold and frankincense and will bear good news of the praises of the Lord."

MELCHOIR
I'm coming to believe this little one that we seek has not only been born to be King of the Jews but He comes to be our king too.

BALTHESAR
What do we do with a future that knows our name?

MELCHOIR
My journey to this new king started long before the star. Many worship the past, others the unknown future. But with this birth, suddenly the present may be Holy.
FADE OUT

EXT. HOUSE IN BETHLEHEM -- NIGHT
MELCHOIR starts to rush into house.
GASPAR
Melchoir wait1
MELCHOIR
What is it? Our journey's done. The star rests overhead. The little King waits within.
GASPAR
I can't go in
BALTHESAR
Neither can I. I spent most of my gold on the journey. I only have four pieces of left.
GASPAR
I traded half my frankincense for my own room. How much worship is there in a half empty vial of frankincense?
BALTHESAR
I'm too scared to worship this king in person.
GASPAR
(to MELCHOIR)
You go for us. We'll wait out here.
MELCHOIR
Some back home call us Wise men. I don't feel very wise right now. But one thing I do know. I can not worship for you. You must bring your gift to the King yourself or let the opportunity pass. When we started out, I was not sure my meager bit of myrrh was a good enough gift either. But now I believe if we give all we have, this King will know our hearts and honor our gifts. Come, let us worship the King. Let us see the promised Messiah.
FADE OUT

Ever wonder...

Ever wonder why God let His Son be born at such a busy time of year. Seems like He might have gotten more attention at a quieter time, say around Easter.

Small Group

Today's rough offering includes the first draft pages of a new play I have started with the working title "Small Group". It is the story of a perenial Youth Pastor who is struggling to grow into his call at his first church to be senior pastor. These opening pages are a new members small group he is treaching. The group has no idea what awaits them and Pastor Flip this evening. I would love your feedback and suggestions forward. Ken

"SMALL GROUP" ACT 1 SCENE 1
At Rise T.J. NORMAN is seated center on a sectional sofa. The room is lit primarily by a blue special with a rotating gobo that gives the effect of moving shadows from a tv downstage center. Upstage right is a lamp. SFX of sports on tv. CAROL NORMAN enters through door upstage carrying a plate of munchies.

CAROL
Why is it so dark in here?

CAROL flicks on ceiling lights and then sets plate on coffee table in front of T.J. picks up remote and turns off tv.

CAROL (CONT'D)
Don't touch these and put on that dress shirt.

A ding upstage from microwave in kitchen.

CAROL (CONT'D)
My pigs in a blanket!
CAROL exits upstage. The ding has brought T.J. out of his tv trance and he discovers the munchies in front of him. He takes a bite. T.J sees dress shirt and pulls off his t shirt as Doorbell rings.
A shirtless T.J. heads toward door stage right as CAROL enters

CAROL (CONT'D)
Freeze!

T.J. complies

CAROL (CONT'D)
Put on that shirt and sit on the couch.

Carol rushes to turn radio from rock to Christian station as doorbell rings again.

CAROL (CONT'D)
(mutters to self)
What can of person comes twenty minutes early? Probably a test
to see if I am ready or maybe someone with nothing else in their drab little life but too-

She grabs T.J.'s t shirt runs in front of sofa, hides t shirt under sofa cushion, pushes a now-buttoned T.J. down on sofa, leaps over sofa and answers door.

CAROL (CONT'D)
(faking non chalance)
Blake!

BLAKE
I'm afraid I'm a bit early.

CAROL
Early? I call it per-punctual.

BLAKE enters

CAROL (CONT'D)
T.J. this is Blake, I've spoken about so often. Blake, this is my husband T.J.

Oven dings

CAROL (CONT'D)
T.J., would you be a dear and get the chicken out of the oven?

T.J.
Oven? Okay.

T.J. exits upstage

CAROL
He is such a help around the house.

BLAKE
Your home is lovely. Did you do your own decorating or hire someone?

CAROL
I did. I hope Karen doesn't get upset. We just couldn't afford a professional right now. T.J.'s just started his new job at the-

T.J. enters holding a large chicken dish in Pyrex casserole dish and wearing one golf glove and one ski glove.

CAROL (CONT'D)
(forcing a smile)
Not in here, silly? That goes on the dining room table.

BLAKE
Oh, that looks yummy.

T.J. exits

CAROL
(calling to kitchen)
And use a trivet, sweetie.

T.J.
A what?

CAROL
He is such a kidder. That's my Grandmother's secret recipe. I just hope there is enough for everyone.

Major crash from kitchen. Doorbell rings
T.J. enters and crosses to table with his cell phone on it.

CAROL (CONT'D)
There are coupons in drawer under the toaster.

CAROL Opens door. HEIDI zooms passed CAROL

HEIDI
(on cellphone)
I can be back there in ten minutes and you do NOT want me back there. Put the sitter back on the phone.
(blows air kisses and waves to Blake and Carol)
Looked I hired you to be a warden not a clown with a pony, make them sit down, shut up and you read that note to them I left to you out loud.
It's beside the phone. The one you are talking on.
(to Carol)
Your place is gorgeous.
(back into phone)
What? Don't read it out loud to me. To them! Read it out loud to them. Put Baker on.
(to Carol))
What smells so good?

CAROL
Just something my husband threw together.

HEIDI
(on phone)
Baker, is she listening? Okay. You know she knows Voodoo, right? Well, I have given her permission to use it on you- Because you are the oldest.
If you do not do everything on the note she is going to read to you, well- Good boy. Sweet dreams, Mommy loves you. Don't forget to say your prayers. Bye.
Hangs up cellphone. (to Carol) Kids- Hope she doesn't shrink his head, I just bought him a new baseball cap.
(to Carol)
You guys have any kids? No wonder the place has that model home look. Where's Pastor Flip?

BLAKE receives text

BLAKE
Flip has been delayed.

HEIDI
How long is he gonna be? My sitter can't hold out more than two hours.

CAROL
I'm sure the Pastor won't be that long.

BLAKE
(reading text)
Oh no!

CAROL
What is it?

BLAKE
He wants me to start the Bible study and he'll finish when he gets here.

MRS. VOLMER
Why is he telling her all this?

HEIDI
I think they are dating?
MRS. VOLMER
Dating? I thought we were all new members.

CAROL
(to Blake)
Does he say what to study?

BLAKE
No. He read me the whole thing last night but I wasn't paying attention. I think it started with a J.

HEIDI
Jeremiah?

MRS. VOLMER
Jonah

CAROL
John

BLAKE
No.

CAROL
(looking at the table of contents of her Bible)
Jude!

BLAKE
No. Jealousy!

HEIDI
What about jealousy?

BLAKE
I don't know. We were at Chili's and this woman across from us was wearing the really cute top that reminded me of one one of the designers on
Project Runaway did last season and I was trying to remember his name. I must have looked interested in what Flip was saying. So I guess he thinks
I could start telling you guys.

CAROL
Should we talk about jealousy till he gets here?

T.J. comes out of the kitchen.

T.J.
What time does the clock in here have?

CAROL
The same as the one in the kitchen.
(to Mrs. Volmer)
T.J. always orders pizza from the place that gives it to you free if it doesn't get here in thirty minutes. They are right over twenty minutes away So if they hit any traffic it runs very close. He has gotten two free pizza's since we moved here in February. I'm surprised they still let him order

MRS. VOLMER
So you could probably talk about jealousy.

CAROL
Instead of getting right into the Bible study why don't we get to know a little more about each other?

BLAKE
Certainly fine with me.

HEIDI
Oho, I'll go first. Is that punch for us?

Watching Lucas

Ok, this is our first post of a play in progress. As you will see each play or screenplay will be different regarding target audience, format (short film, feature film, short play, sketch or full length play) and number of drafts. This first one is working titled "Watching Lucas". Any feedback you give me will be appreciated. However, suggestions for direction story might go from here, moments or dialogue you hate or love (I can take it - I'm on medication) or any other constructed comment is greatly appreciated. I am working on an idea to reward participants for taking their valuable time to read and comment. If you have any suggestions regarding our reward program please forward those suggestions, as well.

Watching Lucas (working title)
By
Ken Bailey
© KenBailey 2009



Setting: The bedroom of 7 year old Lucas.

Time: Present

At Rise: Kay Triplett is on her phone while 7 year old Lucas plays on the floor with a
firetruck




ACT I

Scene 1


KAY
(on phone)
-oh Shelia I am so sorry. I will be right over. What? Oh no, Roger can stay with Lucas. Lucas is ready for bed anyway. See you soon.

(KAY hangs up and dials)

KAY (cont.)
I need you to come in here and help put Lucas to bed. Shelia and her Mother-in-law are at it again. They need a counsular, a prayer partner and referee. Because I have to. Come on in here.

LUCAS
MS. KAY? You’re not leaving are you?

KAY
Oh Lucas, just for a little while but Pastor Roger is going to be here.

LUCAS
But my Mom said you would be with me the whole time till my baby brother came home.

KAY
Lucas, I never dreamed I would..but.. Now you like Pastor Roger don’t you?

LUCAS
He’s okay during the daytime but it’s night and I get a little-

(Roger enters unhappily)

KAY
Roger! Look, Lucas, it’s Pastor Roger.

ROGER
(under his breath)
ta-daa.

(Roger pulls KAY aside)

ROGER (cont.)
(to KAY)
You know I’m not comfortable around children.

KAY
OH please. Lucas is a wonderful boy. And besides he’ll be a sleep in no time.

(KAY picks up purse to exit)
KAY
You two fellas have fun and don’t stay up all night talking about the old days.

(KAY turns to exit)
LUCAS
Ms.Kay?

(LUCAS crooks his finger to motion for KAY to join him. KAY crosses to LUCAS.
LUCAS beacons her to lean over.)

He smells like salami.

KAY
Roger.. Did you get into the refrigerator?

ROGER
I got hungry- and the game was on- Do you think they expected us to stay here and not raid the fridge?

KAY
See, you two will get along fine. Roger tell Lucas a Bible story to help him sleep.

(KAY exits)

ROGER
So you like Bible stories?

LUCAS
Sometimes, I guess.

ROGER
Well I am working on a interesting story about the situation behind John the Baptist loosing his…a.. car keys.

LUCAS
Car Keys? They didn’t have cars in Bible days.

ROGER
Well I’m just starting my research-

(phone rings. Lucas answers it)
LUCAS
Fontino residence. Hi, Daddy! (sits up) Can you see me? What am I doing now? Right. Is Mom okay? How about my brother, have you seen him yet? How long’s it gonna be? Okay. (to Roger) He wants to talk to you.

ROGER
Hi Brad, how’s Melissa doing? Good. We prayed earlier and we’ll pray here in a minute before Lucas gets into bed. You saw the changing of the guard? Yeah, Shelia Morganson needed Kay’s shoulder, ear and probably last nerve so she went over there so I’m here with Lucas. Aw, don’t mention it. That’s what neighbors are for. I know your Dad wishes he were here instead of me. How is your Mom? (listens) Well, we’ll keep praying for her too. Sure. (to Lucas) Your Dad wants to tell you good night.

(LUCAS takes phone)

LUCAS
Night Dad-. Dad? Is it too baby if I blow you a kiss. Good.

(LUCAS blows kiss)
LUCAS
(to camera)
NIGHT DAD! NIGHT MOM! NIGHT BROTHER! Hope you are not a B.R.A.T. (to Roger) It’s okay. Baby’s can’t spell.

ROGER

Well now. That was better than a story. Bet you are ready for bed.
LUCAS
Okay.

(LUCAS gets under covers. Roger crosses to doorway)

ROGER
You usually sleep with the light on or off?

LUCAS
Mostly off. But I want my Dad to see how big I am. So, let’s leave it on.

ROGER
On it is. Goodnight Lucas.

LUCAS
Pastor Roger?

ROGER
Yes?

LUCAS
You told my Dad we would pray.

(ROGER embarrassed)

ROGER
Thank you for reminding me.

(LUCAS jumps out of bed and kneels beside it. The getting-older ROGER looks at the distance to the floor and then struggles to get his footballed knees down beside LUCAS)

ROGER (cont.)
Okay, whose it gonna be? You or me?

LUCAS
Daddy says you get paid to.

ROGER
(does take to Nanny cam)
Okay then. Father God. Thank you for this home and the Light of you that is in it. Thank you for watching over us just as his Mom and Dad watch over Lucas here. We pray that Lucas’ new baby brother be healthy and strong and learn early to lean on You and praise you for your love in sending Your Son Jesus to us and it is in his name we pray. Amen. Oh and please send Ms. Kay back here as soon possible.

LUCAS
Amen!

ROGER
(smiling to camera)
Hope we all got our money’s worth. Good night, Lucas

(Roger struggles a bit to get up off floor and exit)

LUCAS
Pastor Roger? Could to tell me the story about the guy who lost his car keys?

ROGER
Let me think of another one that might be more your speed.

(Suddenly Roger looks out his window to see his next door house on fire. He grabs his cell to call 911)