The Meanwell Sisters

Another Christmas offering "The Meanwell Sisters" is a variation on a scene from "Manger in the Mall". Please give me your comments and suggestions. Thanks Ken

The Meanwell Sisters
by
Ken Bailey
© KenBailey 2009

FADE IN:
INT. MALL -- EVENING
PATTY MEANWELL enters a clearing in the mall. PATTY struggles to carry a makeshift manger, a hat rack, some costumes and a cardboard backdrop. PATTY opens background. PATTY lays costumes over manger. Sets up hatrack. Moves costumes to hatrack as CYNDI MEANWELL approaches.

PATTY
Oh good.

CYNDI
Can you believe it? Not even 9am and ol' Tubby overthere has them lined up all the way to Yo-Yo-Yogurt.

Cyndi gently places a beat up baby doll in manger.

PATTY
Wait, where's little Harry? He's suppose to-
(be baby Jesus)

CYNDI
Margo wasn't comfortable with me taking Harry for-

PATTY picks up damaged doll and examines it.

CYNDI (CONT'D)
But she let me have one of Susan's dolls.

PATTY
This is suppose to be Baby Jesus

CYNDI
He's just as real as old Fat Boy and his flying zoo over there.
(to elf offscreen)
Oh, sure. You're an elf. A six foot elf.
(to Patty)
When I think of all the Little People out of work and they hire some-

PATTY
There's high unemployment amongst Little People, I didn't know that.

CYNDI
There's high unemployment, do you think they are immuned?

CYNDI CROSSES to PATTY and gently takes the doll from PATTY and replaces it in the manger.

CYNDI (CONT'D)
There.

PATTY
Where's the camera?

CYNDI
I thought you.. Wait.

CYNDI searches through her purse and pulls out disposable camera and smiles.

CYNDI (CONT'D)
We're ready.

CYNDI turns to people walking by. PATTY hangs banner on background that says "Picture Yourself with Jesus"

CYNDI (CONT'D)
Picture Yourself with Jesus!

PATTY
Celebrate Christmas with the Christ of Christmas!
Young lady approaches

CYNDI
How about a holiday keepsake? Your picture with Baby Jesus?

WOMAN
Get lost!

CYNDI
Speaking of lost.

PATTY
Cyndi

CYNDI
Well-

Elvin walks up to women.

ELVIN
What are you ladies doing?

PATTY
Would you like to have your picture made with Baby Jesus?

ELVIN
I would-

PATTY
Wonderful

PATTY heads for costume.

ELVIN
I would but I wouldn't have anyone to give it to.

CYNDI pounces

CYNDI
Really? I'm Cyndi Meanwell.

Cyndi puts out her hand

ELVIN
Elvin Thornberry.

PATTY dresses ELVIN as he talks with CYNDI

CYNDI
Thornberry? Thornberry
(TO PATTY)
Didn't we live by some Thornberries on Pixie Avenue?

PATTY
They were Brimberries.

CYNDI
No, I think it was Thornberry.

ELVIN
Don't believe there have been any Thornberry's here before me. I grew up in-
By now ELVIN has full costume on and CYNDI crosses to PATTY.

CYNDI
No, I think they were Thornber-

COUPLE walks up

MAN
What are you people doing?

PATTY
We're are taking people's picture with Baby Jesus. We can take you two right after Mr. Brimberry here.

ELVIN
Thornberry.

MAN
You can't do this!

WOMAN
You can't be pushing your religion in our face!

MAN
We are here to do our Christmas shopping not join your cult!

Woman takes out Blackberry and types

WOMAN
You're gonna be sorry.
(to Elvin)
What's your name?

ELVIN
Elvin Thornberry but I-

WOMAN
Oh look, Gerald, Santa Claus.

MAN
(to Elvin)
You should be ashamed of yourself

Couple exit

CYNDI
(to Elvin)
Oh, you were wonderful.

Elvin starts to take off costume

PATTY
Wait. You haven't had your picture made yet.

ELVIN
Oh, I don't know. I tell you what I will if you ladies are in the photo with me.

PATTY
One of us has to take the picture.

CYNDI has donned a costume and now grabs ELVIN's arm.

CYNDI
Patty will take it.

PATTY positions to take photo as CYNDI strikes pose

CYNDI (CONT'D)
Say, JESUS!

ELVIN
(a bit overwhelmed)
Jesus.

PATTY's camera flashes.

CYNDI
Oh, I think I closed my eyes. Take another one PATTY
CYNDI draws ELVIN even closer.

PATTY shoots.

ELVIN
Now what?

SISTERS look at each other

CYNDI
I don't know.

PATTY
You're our first customer. We thought we would shoot a roll and then take it over to SUPER-LIGHTING-FAST-PHOTO over by the overpriced lingerie shop.

ELVIN
I could take it over.

ELVIN grabs the camera and exits. Young girl is watching from sideline.

GIRL
What is this?

CYNDI
It's the manger where Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus-

GIRL
That's not Baby Jesus. It's a Glee and Pee doll and it's messed up. And this cardboard stable..

CYNDI
Well, you sort of have to-

PATTY
She's right. It's a doll with no hair. We were going to get Cyndi's grandbaby but-

CYNDI exits toward ELVIN

CYNDI
I'll be right back.

PATTY
Your parents Christmas shopping?

GIRL
I guess they could be. Somewhere.

PATTY
What do you want for Christmas?

GIRL
You know this is the lamest thing in the mall, right? And this is really a lame mall.

Girl starts trying on a costume.

PATTY
(under her breath) Well, He healed the lame.

GIRL
What?

PATTY
To tell you the truth when Cyndi called me with this idea- she was all upset about Santa over there getting all the attention and she just wanted Jesus to get more.. focus. You haven't been eating candy or anything have you. We borrowed those costumes from the church.

GIRL
You think they really dressed like this?

PATTY
Beats me. Looks like the Christmas cards I get.

GIRL
I don't get Christmas cards. What's this?

PATTY
That goes over your head like this. Bethlehem chic. Some Hebrew hunk would really go for you. People don't send Christmas cards like they used to.

CYNDI returns with real baby.

PATTY (CONT'D)
Is that Harry?

CYNDI
No, I saw this guy with a stroller and-

GIRL
A baby!

PATTY
You kidnapped a baby!

CYNDI
No, it turned out to be my neighbor's boy Ralph. This is Ralph, Jr. I have babysat with him before. So, I told Ralph I would watch Jr. while he shopped for his wife who is shopping for him. We're gonna get some action now.

GIRL
Can I hold him?

CYNDI
Do you know how?

GIRL
Sure. I had a little sister.

CYNDI hands baby to GIRL. GIRL holds baby in front of background. ELVIN returns with camera.

ELVIN
SUPER-LIGHTING-FAST-PHOTO couldn't process the film until tomorrow so I thought you might want to take a few more-

ELVIN sees girl with baby in makeshift stable. ELVIN raises camera.

ELVIN (CONT'D)
Say JESUS

GIRL raises head as a lone tear rollercoasters over her cheek and falls gently on the baby

GIRL
Jesus

ELVIN takes picture. RALPH and KAREN rush up

RALPH
See Karen, I told you it was alright. Karen wanted to get a picture of Ralphey with Santa.

KAREN grabs RALPHEY from girl in robe and recognizes her.

KAREN
Petra?

RALPH
(to CYNDI)
What is this?

CYNDI
(defeated)
It's a cardboard-

RALPH
Look Karen, it's the stable and the manger. This is great! Could we get our picture made here?

PATTY and CYNDI move into action. CYNDI disrobes ELVIN (much to the delight of both) and CYNDI puts ELVIN's robe on RALPH. PATTY crosses to PETRA who has taken off robe and puts it on KAREN.

KAREN
Your folks are worried sick. You have to call them. RALPH get my phone out of the diaper bag.

PETRA
I'm not calling them.

KAREN
You have to, It's Christmas.

PETRA
Is that a rule or something?

KAREN
They are both sorry.

PETRA
How do you know?

KAREN
They told everyone.

PETRA
(not believing)
Everyone?

KAREN
In front of the whole church.
(pause)
And they want more than anything to tell you.

RALPH
Come on Karen, they're ready. Let's get everyone in.

The group gathers as PATTY moves down to take picture. Santa Claus is walking by.

SANTA
Want me to do that? I'm on a break.

PATTY hands Santa the camera and joins others.

SANTA (CONT'D)
Everybody say.. Jesus!

GROUP
JESUS!

FADE OUT